Don't Tell Superman
by Varmint
Summary: Second in the 'Don't Tell' Universe. Batman has a small surprise for Greg that he doesn't want Superman to find out about. But Greg is a man that just loves his pranks and fun. Will he really keep the surprise from Superman? Or will he let the man in on it just to get the Bat angry?


Greg Saunders had no idea how he had gotten roped into this situation.

He honestly did not know how he had gone from sitting comfortably on his couch in his ranch in Wyoming to standing in front of the scariest man he had ever come to meet, the Batman.

But that wasn't the odd thing. He was used to being randomly taken out of his natural environment by Batman's mysterious ways. What _was_ odd was the fact that Batman had five kids surrounding him.

Now Greg knew his kids. He had been around the Superhero game long enough to make friends and enemies alike within the hero community. But he knew that _all_ of the tykes in the game loved him and saw him as their protector/best friend.

So he had knowledge of who most of these kids were.

The little black haired boy giggling in front of Batman was Robin, the cutest eight year old in the hemisphere. Beside him was his red haired best friend, whom was poking at the kid's shoulder. Greg couldn't help but smile at little Wally his- personal- favorite. Nobody needed to know that, though.

Then there was Kaldur'ahm standing stoically beside the Bat, arms crossed and gray eyes looking at Greg with no clear emotions. The Atlantean was cute enough, but his shyness and quietness were kind of off-putting from time to time.

Beside him stood Speedy with a smirk, arms crossed while he saw his 'father's' best friend. This red head was a complete menace. Not only to society, but to himself as well. He was too smart for his own good and knew how to use a situation for his own good. Add in the fact Ollie was a pretty carefree father and Greg was inherently a trouble maker and Roy was basically born to be trouble.

But there was one child Greg did not recognize. The black haired boy was standing to Robin's left and his bright blue eyes were glaring right at the Western Superhero.

Just looking at his eyes allowed Greg to know who this could be.

"Um... Any reason as ta why Ah'm here, pardner?" Greg asked the Bat who didn't even flinch at the condescending tone.

"Yes. There actually is." Batman nodded as he pushed the unknown child forward, receiving an icy glare. "I know of the small activities you and Ollie have partaken in. The very activities you've told the children to keep from me."

Greg immediately glared at the runts before him, pointing at them, "I gave y'all ice cream, yuh snitches! Yuh don't break the ice cream promise!"

Robin and Roy snickered at his reaction, while Kaldur smiled broadly and Wally laughed out loud. Greg glared at the kids for a second more then straightened up and dusted his shoulder off.

"Ah reckon Ah don't know what yuh're talkin' 'bout, pardner. My apologies."

Greg could have sworn he felt Batman roll his eyes from behind his mask.

"I don't care for your lies, Vigilante. You're the best at keeping information from the League- like your illegal outings and information on wanted mercenaries you have befriended-" Greg tugged at his shirt collar, suddenly feeling hot under the Bat's gaze. "And that's exactly why I am asking for your help right now."

This surprised the cowboy. He had completely expected some kind of reprimand for his actions. Maybe even the Bat kicking him out of the Justice League and barring him from ever seeing the children again. But he hadn't even thought about the Bat needing his help.

The Bat needed help? This was a new one.

"We must keep the existence of this child, Conner, from Superman."

The blue eyed boy glared straight through Greg, letting the man know he really _was_ Superman's son, but he could only smile in response.

"Ah'm gonna make sure the filly has the best night out ever, Batman!"

With that Greg grabbed Conner's wrist and started to walk him out of the Cave, completely ready to fulfill his promise.

"That is not what I asked of you, Greg."

His leave, though, was stopped as he bounced against the Bat's chest, stumbling backwards until he was stopped by the four children he had taken out on joy rides before. Greg blinked at the dark form of an angered Bat for one second, then humphed.

"Yuh mean ta tell me yuh take me outta mah home, make me crap mah pants wit' terror, _then_ tell me Ah can't use mah dark gifts with a child Ah have ta take care of? Now does that seem fair ta yuh?"

Batman clearly quirked an eyebrow at the man's words, but instead of saying anything, just glared at Greg. "You will keep all the children safe. You are babysitting tonight."

"What?!" Greg jumped towards the Bat, fist now raised. "If yuh actually have the notion of me takin' care o' all these children by myself yuh certainly got another thing comin' ta-"

Before he could finish his sentence Greg suddenly found himself back in his home, but he was not alone. He had five children with him now, one whom he did not know and four whom he knew were nothing but trouble.

"Yuh." He finished lamely, the man's shoulders slumping as he looked around his house.

Robin and Wally were already in the living room, taking advantage of his flat screen TV and surround system to play some video games- he had bought a gaming station along with a few age appropriate games at their insistence a few months ago- all the while Kaldur went towards the kitchen followed by Roy. For some odd reason, those two really liked baking together.

And Conner just stood in front of him, eyes slightly wide in shock as he took in his surroundings, making Greg and shake his head.

Well, there wasn't much else he could do. He knew Ollie was away in some kind of ball for charity, Barry was on a much needed date with Iris, Arthur was too boring to do anything with, and Batman was never to be trusted ever again. So who could he call now to make his night with these children any fun?

"Hey, Conner?" Greg asked, making the kid look up at him.

And _there_ was the glare Greg had come to associate with Conner.

"Yuh ever been ta Metropolis, kid?"

The boy only shook his head, making Greg start to smirk as an evil plan started to form in his head.

Oh, Batman would learn why one never crossed a kind cowboy. Because inside Greg's heart was a snake just waiting to strike against anyone who tried to take advantage of him.

"Boys! Saddle up! We're goin' ta Metropolis!"

**So, yeah. I decided to continue with the 'Don't Tell' stories. This one's going to be all about Superman and Conner. If you have an idea for another story, please review and tell me which Leaguer you'd like to hide things from next time!**

**But, even if you don't have an idea for a next story, please review. You know how much I love your feedback!**


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